Cheese dip is like a
Terrorist to my asshole;
call it al-queso

if bob Dylans voice
was used for police sirens:
whew whew whew whew whew

Radiohead won’t
play creed at their live concerts.
Pretentious fuckwads

Kennedy used to
be methodical. After
Dallas? Scatter-brained

Indiana Jones
4 was awful; made no sense:

Republicans make
a laser weapon; call it
the Ronald Ray-Gun

Santa Claus, Big Foot
Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy
Jesus Fucking Christ

Jesus the gymnists
crossbar routine scores: ten, ten,
ten, ten, ten. Nailed it.

Woman who knows how
to get what she wants online:

I want you so deep
Inside me, my fetus can
Give you a hand job

Some girls bleach their ass
holes. Dated a hippie once
who had hers tie-died

Punctuation sex:
she’s on her period, so
I’m in her colon


from Growing Up, Not Old, released June 30, 2016



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